Whether you are painting a picture or singing a song the drive is strange at best. Most people don’t understand you or what it is you are trying to convey. As artists, we see and hear things differently than people that aren’t artistic. Colors are brighter, songs are more meaningful, even the way we perceive simple everyday things is different. We see and hear things in a completely different light. Is there an explanation for it?
On a fundamental level, our brains are probably wired differently. I can’t really explain it. The best way is to describe my process. Since I was really little I have always been drawn to sound and colors. I loved colors, the difference between dark and light, the sound of certain songs would entice me and capture my attention. I could get engulfed for hours looking at something that I thought was beautiful, pretty or unique.
I wasn’t drawn to normal, the sound or image had to be unique. The colors had to be so vast as to be indescribable. There weren’t the colors in my palate to paint what I saw. There weren’t enough strings on the guitar to explain what I heard. I paint pictures that are considered normal to most people because most of the time I am working with a new medium, it’s the same with music. What I really like and listen to is completely different than what I convey. Most of what I actually like most people wouldn’t like or understand. So, I do like most artists, I try to play and paint conventional.
Conventionality is the rule of thumb when it comes to presenting music or art. People really don’t like what they don’t get. If I painted what I really see I feel it would probably scare most people. If I sang what I really like most people would not want to hear. Most of what I see and hear is pretty dark at the end of the day. Who wants to see a painting of a guy laying on the floor with his heart blown out of his chest with a 30.06 rifle and blood and bone matter scattered all over the wall. They would much rather see flowers and happiness. No one wants to face ugly.
I paint things that are happy and conventional at the end of the day because I want to be appreciated, as everyone does, but in reality, I can’t paint what I really see or feel. It’s the same with music. I can throw an obscure song in here and there but at the end of the day if you don’t play music that people can relate to they don’t want to hear it, no matter how well you do. Please don’t paint or play music that is unconventional, we won’t like you.
Sometimes I get tired of trying to fit the mold that everyone expects, you know the saying, eating shit politely with a knife and a fork. That’s what we do as an artist at the end of the day and it sucks. But, reality bites. Someday I will be gone and then maybe, just maybe, someone will appreciate what I was trying to convey as a musician and an artist.